The last couple weeks we have been busy. Busy with prepping, planning, preparing and feeling the love. In all, we have had four incredible showers; both our families threw showers and also both our work places. In all, we received so many incredible gifts but more importantly, felt so loved from everyone.
We have been working on thank you notes to all and will be sending them out soon to our family and friends, but I have to be honest, it seems so insufficient. Although we appreciate the gifts, what we have appreciated the most is the acceptance of our family. By nature, I am a worrier and Ben does well to balance this flaw, however, I am often full of fear which is the basis of my worry. Although unwarranted in many cases, I must admit, I still have them. I have fears of failure, fears of things I can’t control and ultimately, fears of non-acceptance.
Adoption is a scary process. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life. We take a risk, put our life on paper, invest ourselves and then hope that someone judges us in our favor to raise their child. Add the complexity that we are a two men, and the fear of rejection is intensified, so the day we matched there was such a sigh of relief, that then quickly was replaced with new fears of will everyone accept our non-traditional family? Sadly, I know the truth is no, some will not. However, those who we share our life with have, in action, shown how much they are accepting and it leaves me writing thank yous, wondering, if this is enough. Do those we love really understand how moving it has been to share this experience with them and hear the excitement, and see the anticipation on their face. I hope so and at this point, I am so blessed that I now have one less thing to worry about.
Again, thank you.
Daniel