What do storks bring?

Big things are happening; we are starting a journey that will take us far, provide many challenges, and bring many rewards. I actually wrote this post at the beginning of January and as you will see over the next few weeks, my posts will catch up to what is happening today. Before going fully public with where our life journey is taking us, both Ben and I wanted time to work through what this will mean and look like. We wanted to be ready and have always been excited. It was hard to stay quiet and admittedly we slipped and told some, but now we are telling all: we are adopting.

Today is January 8, 2016 and up until this point, our desire to adopt had been resigned to passing conversations, moments of intense research and disbelief it would be possible based on the conservative community we live in. In the last year Michigan legislation has changed to allow agency to refuse services for reasons of moral disagreement and as many in the area are Christian based, the task seem to become all the more daunting. However, things changed recently and the deep desire to adopt became something more tangible. Over the end of year holidays, we came across a post on Facebook about another Michigan couple adopting in our similar situation. It was motivating, it was eye opening, and it was the push we needed to become more steadfast about our desire to add to our family. We have so much love to share and feel we have some much to offer. This is a conscious decision to add another human being to our family, a decision many do not consciously get to make as it so often happens in an unplanned setting. To us, this is not about filling a void, but adding to the expanse of who we are.

We had contacted another agency that specialized in placement with LGBT families but after conversing back and forth it was determined due to their location, they were not a fit. Although they offered to assist with questions, they declined to accept us as we were 2 hours away. I took this as a personal blow. It seemed to confirm my fears all along. We were never going to find an agency. Admittedly, I cried sitting at work. Up to this point I always just made the assumption we could not find an agency, but now it was true. However, we did not dwell and resumed our search by contacting agencies; we finally found what sounds to be a promising organization to work with, Greater Hopes, located here in Grand Rapids.

Next week is a big week for us. On Thursday we attend an orientation to learn more about Greater Hopes and the whole process. There are many more steps to come, but it has been said the first step is the biggest. If we feel comfortable with Greater Hopes we will then submit our application. From what we know the process is long, at times emotional difficult and expensive. Conservative estimates put the entire process around $15,000 or more. My perspective is that this is a small price to pay for the reward of having a child.

We have many questions and hope to get many answers next week such as what the average wait is, how many infants are placed into their adoption system, how many families do they have waiting and, although they work with same-sex couples, it would be nice to know how many children they have been successful in placing with said households

Although the process of adoption is slow, we will do our best to update this blog throughout our journey whenever things change. Adoption is a unique experience and we understand some people have a hard time relating to the desire to do such an act. It is my hope that by allowing others to be a witness and active participant in our journey, they will develop an understanding of this deep desire we have be fathers. We plan to share the good and the bad, full disclosure so that this blog not only can serve as a release of emotions for Ben and I, but also serve as a possible reference for others considering embarking on the same journey.

We encourage all of our friends and family to ask us questions, be a source of support during what is sure to be a challenging time and most importantly share in the excitement we have to someday bring home the next little Smith-Bennett.