Raccoon got your thumb?

You may have noticed our tagline on the main page for our blog asks, “What’s it all about Ralphie?” Recently, the answer has been raccoons and rabies.

Some of you may have heard of my recent dalliance with a certain distressed raccoon friend but if not, let me tell you a story that resulted in a raccoon in the wild worth north of ten grand. And yes, I mean over $10,000…that ten grand.

It was a few weeks ago on a Friday morning in which my thumb met its partial demise. I left for work a little early in my new black, stripped turtle neck. This alone should have been a warning as the stripes now are a constant reminder of those on a raccoons tail. As I approached the intersection of Union and Burton, traffic was heavy and to my surprise, so was the presence of wild life. For a visual, see this link to a similar situation involving a skunk, which had a more successful ending. Much to my surprise, there was a rather large raccoon, bumbling through swerving traffic with a peanut butter jar stuck upon his head. He had this hurried pace to him (or her of which I am not sure so will now after refer to as him) in which I can only describe as a panicked slug. He tried to be ever fast but for fear of hitting things almost seemed to be moving slower and slower in his panic. As I waited for my opportunity to turn, he made respite underneath my car. I think this was all planned on his part, he sensed a sucker.

Another thing you may or may not know about me is that I am a bleeding heart for animals. I often joke that I would rather see a person get hurt than I would an animal and although I suggest this in jest, it really is true. I’ll take the orphan commercials any day over the sappy crooning of Sarah Mclachlan set to videos of caged up, injured dogs. I can’t explain my sad depths of empathy for animals but it exists. I must admit. So seeing this raccoon in his panicked moment (this is not my photo but one from the internet to pull at your heart-strings) I had to help. What else is a boy to do? So I jumped from car and the next few moments put me on a track that resulted in an ER trip, followed by THREE urgent care visits, thirteen different injections, one antibiotic, and ultimately in a very valuable, wild raccoon.

It was raining lightly as I ran from my car after the largest of procyonoid family. His drunkard like path made him hard to capture but after many failed attempts, and one of his failed run aways in which he head on slammed into a brick pillar, I finally achieved my goal of grabbing his tail. It is important to have all the details of this situation. As I stated, it was raining, but also dark, along a very busy intersection fairly well lit by street lamp. In short…I looked insane to many passerby. But I had one goal, and I was determined to accomplish it. Eventually an anonymous, good Samaritan in the form of a young woman came along to assist. This distressed mammalian creature proved harder to help than I anticipated and after much tugging with one hand, it proved all but possible to get this jar from his head.

It is at this point, that I admit I am an idiot and in the next three seconds of thought while freeing the animal many things passed through my mind like, “this may not end well” and “why didn’t I just leave for work a little later like normal” or “maybe a big stick to hold him down was a better idea” and lastly “I am about to get bit, I know it.” And for the last part, I was right. Reaching down to better pull against my other hands force, I successfully freed the beast from the grips of the deathly peanut butter jar and freed him at last. He was grateful, I know it, but lacking the appropriate methods of cross species communication, he shared his gratitude in the only way he knew how…a quick bite to my thumb.

At first I didn’t feel it, but then the pangs of regret set in and a quick look at the left thumb found most of my nail absent with blood gushing. I may have found success against the peanut butter jar, but the next question was will I find success against rabies.

Now it is time for a moment of education. Rabies it not common, but the most likely animals to carry rabies in america are red foxes, bats and of course, raccoons. Actually, raccoons are one of the most common carriers aside from dogs in underdeveloped countries. In addition, the number of people who have survived rabies…essentially none. The odds are really not good. Now technically speaking a couple of people have survived but overall, it is considered a terminal illness. Fortunately, I do not live in a third world country so my odds are much better than most victims. I realized then my next step needed to be an ER to get urgent treatment. The closer to the moment of inoculation, the more effective treatment. And before I forget, no I did not capture the (un)friendly beast to be tested as this would require the removal of his brain, and would have made this whole ordeal for naught. And remember, I am a bleeding heart.

The next couple hours progressed quickly and involved me passing out twice in the car while driving to work, a trip to the ER in Greenville (thank you Greenville Memorial ER for great care) and eventually three more UC visits to get follow-up vaccinations. Not to mention a few late night panic attacks in fear of actually developing rabies. In all I had to suffer through thirteen injections and received a total bill of over ten thousand dollars for treatment. Apparently one of these injections alone cost more than $8,500. Fortunately I have insurance but sadly it is a HSA so I will have to incur some of this cost out-of-pocket.

Now you may ask, as many have, do I regret this? And I have to admit, no. At times, I felt different when the panic of maybe getting rabies set in but overall, it is who I am that I helped this animal and I would have regretted the guilt of not doing so more.

Ultimately, it all worked out. I accomplished my goal of saving the raccoon and because the average incubation period of rabies is about 28 days, I am in the clear. Well almost. Technically speaking the incubation period can be as long as SEVEN years, so if you see me frothing at the mouth sometime in the next seven years, run.

Daniel