Home Visit #2

It’s real time now friends. So pretty much, all previous posts have been about what has happened. Today, we talk about what is to come.

We have our second, and hopefully last, home visit today. Our last went great, which Ben already wrote about but we had to delay this one a couple weeks. Sadly, a good friend of mine lost her mom the day of our scheduled last visit and although this process of adoption is very important to us, being there for our friends was even more so during a difficult time. It has been a couple weeks now and we are back to the journey of adoption.

So far, we have the nursery pretty much done. Decorated in whales with hues of blue and bursts of red, the room is warm, fun, inviting and should be a great retreat for our future child. We even ordered a beautiful rocking chair and are waiting on this to come. We have child proofed the house as well. We have three baby gates up in needed locations, all light sockets are protected and the cabinets are locked with chemicals and medications out of reach. In our attempts to be transparent, we have so invested just shy of five thousand dollars in the last couple months toward or future life. About half went to the agency and the other half toward required purchases in order to pass the home assessment, like the baby bed.

We have been enjoying every moment of this journey and have found that it has been very stress free, but also time consuming. We always suspected as much and have no issues with the investment of time, energy, money and emotion. It is all worth it and if it were twice as financially, physically an emotional demanding, we would still be happy to do this.

I can only speak for myself but up until today, I have had such peace during this entire process and although I still maintain the enthusiasm toward the process, I find myself sitting at the kitchen table, anxious about the meeting that starts in less than an hour. Actually, that is what motivated me to write this today. I needed an avenue to get out my anxiety. I am not all at all concerned or second guessing anything we have done. Actually the opposite. The more we work toward the goal of adoption, the more sure we are that this is the right thing, but I realize there is a lot weighing on this visit. It is basically the last step before we are moved into the pool of candidates from which a perspective birth family can choose their child’s parents. I am so excited to get to that point and that desire is what is likely causing my inner anxiety.

We had a very good friend give birth to her second child on Monday. He was born a healthy, beautiful baby. I find myself so excited for them but also so sad for us that we do not have that and recognize that there are still so many variables that need to fall in place in order to welcome our child in to our life. I also realize that it may never happen. It is odd to be in a place of such happiness and sadness at the same time.

I can’t express how excited we our about all this and how much we already love our child we do not not even know, or that doesn’t even likely exist yet. We are ready. I am ready. And we would appreciate your prayers of support.